How to Feel Better: A 3 Step Guide

3 ways to feel better, today

Feeling is tough, feeling better doesn’t have to be

How can I feel better about myself? I’m drained. I need to decompress. I need a break. 

Am I reading your mind? I get this way too, particularly after a long work day (even if I am fully-remote working in corporate marketing – those emails don’t answer themselves!). So we all agree, we need time in between slamming the laptop shut and our evening hours, but how do we figure out how to spend it? And I mean really spend it, not just rewatching Bridgerton Season 3 part 1 while I anxiously count days down to part 2’s release? I’ve found myself to be too exhausted to do literally anything else, but wanting to find a way that feels like I’m still taking care of “me” in the process. This in between after a while can feel dull and unfulfilling.

Tragically, a new show doesn’t fill the void all the time. Don’t get me wrong, cozying up on the couch with my weighted blanket while my partner fills my water bottle or cracks open an Olipop for me can be just what I need that day or that week. But as TV seasons close and I run my fizzy drink supply dry, I start to feel the extra toll of rotting on my couch until the wee hours of the night. 

I thought about calling this a “lazy girl’s guide to feeling better” but I think I’m a bit too stubborn to call you or me lazy just for feeling the toll of life taking us down. We are working, we are living, we are putting energy out into the world – that’s hard sh*t. So alternative titles aside, this is a caring guide to you and to me. I hope you feel better soon, and know you add value whether you’re doing the most or doing the most you can do, today. 

1. Get out of your apartment.

   I don’t care if you’re just running to CVS, stepping into your backyard, walking around the block, taking a bus to the public library, or finding your way to your local trail. You need to get outside. Feel the sun’s warmth, feel Winter’s chill, I want you to channel that scene from the Barbie Movie and just feel.
   
   Don’t get me wrong, I love and take a lot of pride in my apartment; it’s cozy, curated, and lived in to the point I just feel safe there. Thinking about working in an office gives me a wave of agida knowing I’ll have to be stuck to a desk, committed to small talk, and spending $15 on salad (would much rather spend $15 on a salad in my own home thank you very much). But I forget that a lot of the time sometimes I need to flip my perspective and still be out in the world – just not necessarily in the corporate office world setting. The change in energy I feel even working from a Starbucks, hearing the small talk, seeing parents get their kid a cake pop or their dog a pup cup can be grounding.
   
   💡I challenge you to break your routine. Have at least one daily interaction with someone other than yourself, whether it just be a smiling thank you to the barista or a free compliment to a stranger in passing.
   

2. Make a semi-homemade meal.

   Cooking can feel intimidating, but it’s one of the things that has brought me a lot of joy and peace over the past few years. If you’re like me and don’t create anything tangible at work, cooking can be an amazing outlet.
   
   But we’re talking about feeling drained at the end of the day (or even by lunchtime), and there’s nothing more satisfying than knowing “Brian’s on a bicycle with your order and will be arriving shortly” with food from your favorite takeout spot. To combat this feeling and compromise with myself, I aim for a semi-homemade meal. That means limited chopping, pre-prepped ingredients from the store or from a day I was feeling ambitious, but still adding a self-made component to what I’m eating.
   
   💡My favorite way to do this is with salad dressings – they’re so easy, and taste way better when you make it yourself. Try this Lemon-Miso dressing recipe, topping it on a pre-made salad kit and added microwavable quinoa. Your body and mind will be thanking you for putting in 10% effort in a nutritious meal.
   

3. Set an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-tiny goal.

   “Should’s” can be nasty little buggers. I should be getting more greens in my diet. I should be working out for at least 30 minutes a day, and reaching 10K steps. I should be journaling so my anxious thoughts don’t build up each night. I should make my bed each day. I used to be paralyzed by all my should’s, to the point where I was just doing nothing good for myself.
   
   My partner helped me overcome this, reminding me that if I go out and try to do this all at once, I’m not going to make sustainable changes in my life and end up either burnt out or just too intimidated to do anything. He challenged me to just pick one, really small version of what I’m trying to do, and then build up from there. So consistently making my bed each day, then graduating to a new habit once I’ve done that task for a few days in a row. I’d then up the ante, and build off of each habit.
   
   💡Try making a list of all the things you’d like to be doing in your life (not even necessarily what you should be doing, but really like – there is a difference). From there, take a baby step – pick a habit like making your bed, drinking a glass of water each morning, or setting an alarm for 2 minutes earlier than you normally do, and start building consistency. After 3-4 days, pat yourself on the back and take it up a (small) notch. 

Candidly, this doesn’t always last. I build habits, then break them, and repeat the cycle over and over. What’s helping me make a longer change is being open and honest with family, friends, and in therapy. It’s giving yourself grace when your routine gets a bit blown up you get sick, when you’re traveling, or something out of the blue pops up and throws you off. But what’s comforting can be just having these tactics in your toolbox for you to pull out when needed. When your rainy day passes, I hope these can really help ground you, get you back in the saddle, and help you feel even a little bit better.